Suggestions for a Prayerful Thanksgiving (Revised 2017)

by Paulist Father James DiLuzio

I          BEFORE THE DAY BEGINS:  

• Set DVR to pre-record Thanksgiving Day parade(s) and Football Games; pre-record or purchase/rent CHARLIE BROWN THANKSIVING or other cartoons. These will be handy for intervals such as between main meal and desert or as stand-by for Alternate After-Meal Activities.
• Book or Paper Copy of OVER THE RIVER & THROUGH THE WOODS by Lydia Maria Child * and other Autumn / Thanksgiving Poems such as The MIST & ALL (Keep aside until DESERT COURSE)  OVER THE RIVER and the poem’s history may be found at: http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Over_the_River_and_Through_the_Wood
• Author’s Information: http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Lydia_Maria_Child
• The Mist and All may be found at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixie_Willson
• Community Games to Have on Hand: Charades, Pictionary, Balderdash
• Music via CD, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube (See item IX below)
• A Card Table with Index Cards & pens/pencils, a Small Basket or Shoebox and One Sheet of Paper with these 2 “Treasured Gifts” Questions printed:

“What experience this year do I most treasure?”

“What gift have I received from last Birthday or Christmas to date that I still enjoy?”

 II   DURING ARRIVALS and /or Hors D’oeuvres: Invite everyone to print on an index card or post-it their response to this question: “What experience have I treasured most this year?”  and /or “What gift have I received from last Thanksgiving or Christmas to date that I still enjoy?” (Elder siblings or adults scribe for younger children).  No signatures on the papers!  Place these “Treasured Gifts” papers in a small basket and place the basket on or near the dining table. During the first course, guests will try to guess who wrote what.

 

III TRADITIONAL GRACE “PLUS”: Once everyone is seated, invite each person to say in ONE WORD, what they are feeling—with 2 qualifications: 1. NO EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY they feel this way (you’ll give them examples below) 2. NO ONE MAY COMMENT or on another person’s feelings. There are no “right or wrongs” feelings.  Therefore, comments like “How can you feel that on this day of all days?” are forbidden!  God loves us and understands all our feelings whatever they may be. It’s Important that you give example that include a full spectrum of feelings: “happy,” “sad,” “worried,” “thankful,” “frustrated,” “loving,” “frustrated,” “hungry,” “pleased,” “anxious,” “grieving,” “peaceful.”  ALSO:  GUESTS MUST BE FREE “TO PASS.” After each person states his or her feeling   Start Grace with these words (Read/ Pray SLOWLY): “Dear God, Here We Are–Our family and friends–and these are the feelings we bring to this Thanksgiving Day.  Helps us understand the beautiful way You accept each us as we are. Make us confident in your love so that we may be at peace and feel your presence among us.  Help us to make the most of this meal, this day, and our time together.”  Then invite everyone to join in the Traditional Grace before Meals, OR if your company is of mixed religions, substitute the Christian Grace with this: “Blessed are YOU, Source of Life, God known by so many names, help us to experience GRATITUDE, for gratefulness is the pathway to mutual affection and the road to peace. Bless our Meal and our Conversation. Amen.” 

III         FIRST COURSE ACTIVITY (Soup/Salad/Antipasto): Treasured Gifts: After everyone is served, pass the basket around with “Treasured Gift” papers. Each person takes a paper and reads it aloud. Guests try to guess who wrote it—i.e. match the statement with its author.  Once guessed, invite the person to share why he or she is thankful for this gift and/or event.

IV         DURING THE MAIN MEAL: Invite each Guest to share his or her memories of the best Thanksgiving OR ANY SPECIAL MEAL that they have ever experienced and why it is an important memory for him or her. (E.g. when they were 7 or 8; a night out with friends; an engagement dinner, baby announcement, etc.) TRY TO KEEP THE MEAL AS LEASURELY AND UN-RUSHED AS POSSILBE.  The previous activities should have helped. If time allows: Invite Guests to share a Bible Story, Book or Event that impressed them.

 V          AFTER THE MAIN MEAL:  Before anyone leaves the table for a Post-Meal Walk and/ or Pre-Cleanup Break (See VI) Invite the following Participatory Prayer: “Thanksgiving is a Day of Gratitude which is a Day of Prayer. Before we take a break, I invite us to share our prayers for one another and others:”

1. “For whom and for what do we need to pray this year?” Give each person a chance to say his or her prayer. Remember the victims of recent violence and tragedies.
2. Close with Psalm 121. (Link below), an Our Father and Glory Be.

VI         AFTER MEAL WALKS & PRE-DESSERT CLEAN UPS: Postpone desert and encourage guests to go for a walk outdoors if possible.  If weather does not permit, engage everyone in a Pre-Desert Clean UP tidying up the kitchen and the table prior to serving dessert. Football fans can catch up on the game.[1]  If there are not football fans and the kitchen is too crowded for everyone to help, access your DVR for the recorded PARADE(s) or Cartoons and/or arrange one of the Participation Gamesa as in section IX below.

VII        DURING DESERT: 

1. Together recall the Thanksgiving Poem: Over the River and Through the Woods – Ask, “Who Knows the Author?” and “Who can remember the most verses?” Have a copy of the complete poem handy. After everyone has had a try reciting or singing a verse, pass around the copy (or copies for everyone) and ask each person to read a couplet or an entire verse depending on the number of guests. (There are 12 verses including 24 couplets) You can find the poem (and its author) at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Over_the_River_and_Through_the_Wood

2. Afterwards, ask “Does anyone know another poem about Fall?” and have them share it. It’s probable that no one will have another poem.  In any case, conclude by reading this short poem: THE MIST & ALL by Dixie Wilson. Some people may remember it from school:  http://holyjoe.org/poetry/willson.htm
3. Invite guests to share any favorite poems, rhymes, riddles or Autumn memories.

VIII       EVERYONE JOINS IN FOR CLEAN UP (OR, if space limitations in the kitchen, create Two Teams:  Those who remain at table or go for walks and/or into the living room; and those who help in the Kitchen.  Try to have each team mixed with all ages, both men/woman/boys/girls if possible.  Spend the clean-up /walking time memorizing OVER THE RIVER as Teams. Afterwards, gather together and see which Team remembers the most.  NOTE: The Purpose of the Game: Poetry opens us up to the spiritual and to appreciation of ritual: memory, context and associations.

 IX         After-Clean Up Options:

o   Community Games to Have on Hand:  Charades, Pictionary, Balderdash

o   Dancing: Access Music via CD, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube

• Old Fashioned WALTZ; I recommend “O Mio Babbino Caro” sung by Kiri Tekanawa (CD: Kiri Te Kanawa Sings Verdi & Puccini Arias; for YouTube search “o mio babbino caro kiri te kanawa””
• Celebrate Married Couples with “I Dreamed of You” by Barbra Streisand: (CD Barbra Streisand: A Love Like Ours; for YouTube: Search “I’ve dreamed of you Barbra Streisand””

X          Farewells As each person prepares to leave, ask if they would like a final Thanksgiving

Blessing.  If no, simply offer the usual hug or handshake.   If yes, the Hosts may place

their hands on each guest’s head or shoulders and pray the PRIESTLY BLESSING from the

Book of Numbers, Chapter 6: 24-26:

²⁴ The Lord bless you and keep you!

²⁵ The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!

²⁶ The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace!

Conclude with “Safe home!  Godspeed!  God bless!”

OPTIONAL CHARITABLE COMPONENT TO THANKSGIVING DAY: INVTIE GUESTS TO BRING A SINGLE $ 1. BILL for each member of his or her family or party to participated in a PLEASE & THANK YOU GAME. Designate a charity and let them know what the dollars are for in advance OR have everyone vote on one of two or three choices before Grace (E.G, Catholic Charities for Puerto Rico Relief or Catholic Relief Services or Unicef.) Have some extra $1. bills around for those who forget.). The FIRST TIME anyone forgets to say Please” or “Thank You,” from the beginning of the Meal (after Grace) to end of dinner (i.e. “please pass the potatoes; thank you), he or she gets a WARNING.  The SECOND TIME he or she must surrender their dollar into a basket. Proceeds go to the previously announced charity. At the end of the day, people may contribute the Remaining Dollars or additional $ if they wish to the cause.

FOOTBALL FANS OPTION:  If your guest list comprises a majority of Football fans, CONSIDER planning your meal and activities around them. Here’s the Game Schedule:

1. Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions                          12:30 PM Ford Field           Channel: FOX
2. Los Angeles Chargers @ Dallas Cowboys             4:30 PM    AT&T Stadium  Channel: CBS
3. New York Giants @ Washington Redskins             8:30 PM FedEx Field          Channel: NBC

 Begin gathering for your meal @ 2:30 (after or near the end of Game 1)

1. Let the fans know you have DVR recorded Games 2 & 3 so during breaks between courses, people can review game and fast-forward commercials.
2. Allow fans to opt-out of activities without judgment or rancor on your part We can invite, but we must not try to force intimacy or familial bonding.
3. Here’s a game for the Football fans: Invite them to name Thanksgiving Day Teams and Winners from the past.  Who has the best football memory?   Here’s the list:

http://www.profootballhof.com/football-history/thanksgiving-day-game-results/

Over the River and Through the Woods by Lydia Maria Child *The original piece had six verses:

Over the river, and through the wood,

To Grandfather’s house we go;

the horse knows the way to carry the sleigh

through the white and drifted snow.

 

Over the river, and through the wood,

to Grandfather’s house away!

We would not stop for doll or top,

for ’tis Thanksgiving Day.

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

oh, how the wind does blow!

It stings the toes and bites the nose

as over the ground we go.

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

and straight through the barnyard gate,

We seem to go extremely slow,

it is so hard to wait!

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

When Grandmother sees us come,

She will say, “O, dear, the children are here,

bring pie for everyone.”

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

now Grandmother’s cap I spy!

Hurrah for the fun! Is the pudding done?

Hurrah for the pumpkin pie!

 

Suggestions prepared by Fr. James DiLuzio CSP                              November 2017

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