Trinity Sunday: Mass Celebrating the 25th Anniversary of My Ordination to the Priesthood at Saint Paul the Apostle Church, New York, NY

WHAT I’VE LEARNED THUS FAR –3 Points for Trinity Sunday

By Father James DiLuzio C.S.P.

 From Sunday’s Scripture Readings:

Excerpt from Deuteronomy 4: “This is why you must now know, and fix in your heart, that the LORD is God in the heavens above and on earth below, and that there is no other. You must keep his statutes and commandments that I enjoin on you today, that you and your children after you may prosper, and that you may have long life on the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you forever.””

Excerpt from Matthew 28:  And Jesus words confirm all this: “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

 What follows is a more detailed expression of my thoughts.  For the Sunday Mass, I spoke on what follows more extemporaneously.  (I did not include the RED text on Sunday)

 It actually happened!  25 years!  I’m humbled and grateful for these years of faith and service and I am thankful to the Paulist Fathers without whom I never would be living a life in continual dialogue with the Scriptures and the People of God in extraordinary, intimate ways.  Today’s readings also remind me how in debt I am to the 10 Commandments and Jesus’ teachings.  They bring true freedom.  Observing them as closely as we are able, we may place our heads on our pillows each night and sleep soundly embraced by amazing grace.  We may wake up each morning as a child awakes filled with hope and enthusiasm,  conscious of God’s love and energized for the day for the good, the true and the beautiful.

 

In celebration of TRINITY SUNDAY on which we contemplate the Christian understanding of ONE GOD in Three Persons—we affirm that GOD IS RELATIONSHIP ITSELF—that’s the true meaning behind “Father, Son and Spirit.”  Indeed, as God is the SOURCE OF LIFE, THE FORCE MAINTAINING THE COSMOS, an UNDYING ENERGY FROM WITHIN AND WITHOUT –God extends God’s very essence expanding loving relationship to and through humanity and all creation.  Relationship is the heart of life—all people, the entire cosmos is inter-related in ways we need to keep exploring, understanding and celebrating.  And the best way is to keep cultivating the awe and wonder and freedom of childhood.  On this Anniversary Celebration I would like to share 3 (3 ½) insights I’ve gained from my 25 years as a Paulist priest.  Here we go:

  1. Point 1: “Whoever does not accept the Kingdom like a child shall not enter it.” Luke 18: 16-17
  • An energized adulthood demands that we cultivate and grow in our childhood JOYS. Are childhood joys comprise the essence of who we ARE, and Who God CALLS US TO BE.  Share who we are!  That’s the mission. . .. Don’t gauge your joys and talents in terms of money you make from them.  That’s not the point. We must keep developing our childhood happiness whatever our ultimate livelihood.  Get out those guitars, gardening tools, baseball gloves, science kit, puzzles or whatever it may be that keeps you fully alive. Let your lights shine!
    1. THE SHADOW SIDE OF CHILDHOOD: Childhood inevitably imparts wounds, too.  True growth engages us in “un-learning” negative patterns bestowed on us by exploring healthy patterns of thinking and living. Faith offers us the “bigger picture” we need to trust in a Loving God, accept the truth that people who mistreat, manipulate or domineer are transmitting pain they received in their childhoods.  We never deserved their cruelty, and, ultimately, safe distance may be required, yet in our hearts we need to develop compassion for ourselves and our family’s and institutions’ failures so that we don’t let our hurts prevent us from living and loving.
    2. In Exodus the Scriptures reveal God as saying God will be about “inflicting punishment for their ancestors’ wickedness on the children of those who hate me, down to the third and fourth generation.” All that means is that God allows the consequences of wrong actions -be they selfish, greedy, violent—to play themselves out and they do, indeed, impact many subsequent generations. Meanwhile, both Hebrew and Christian Scriptures affirm God never abandons us as we work through the harmful residues of the past.
    3. Later the prophet Ezekiel assures the people saying, “The son shall not be charged with the guilt of his father, nor shall the father be charged with the guilt of his son. Justice belongs to the just, and wickedness to the wicked.”  This implies, in part, what I’ve come to understand:  God invites each new generation to correct, amend and extinguish the sins of the past –be they that of our parents, grandparents or ancestors, or our nation’s or our religious body’s—so we keep ever-growing in the ways God set out in the beginning:  the 2 GREAT COMMANDMENTS: Love of God, self and neighbor as self.  Strong faith gives us the COURAGE to do just that.  It’s what Jesus meant when he said, “Pick up your cross and follow me” and “I am with you always, even unto the end of time.”
    4. Strong feelings from childhood are often evoked in contemporary situations that nonetheless must be distinguished from the situations and contexts of the past. We must learn to deal with these and the distinct people involved in them in healthier, more creative ways, detaching from our past.  e., the person who treats us ill today is not our parent, our wicked 4th grade teacher, the abusive boss from our last job.  He/She and we are in a different situation now.  We must calm our bruised inner child and live in the present. We must assert ourselves because we don’t need other’s good behavior to claim our self-esteem as children of God.  Claiming our foundational dignity in God’s love, no one can take it away. We can then see the person and his/her inappropriate or hurtful behavior as someone in pain; someone who tries to claim their dignity at the expense of another because they are deeply insecure.   Assured of who we are as Loved by God, we can move from anger, to pity, to compassion for the wounded, insecure fellow (without ever telling him or her that they are wounded or insecure—that won’t get us anywhere!).  Centered in this way, we are far more able and likely to “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6) and advance to the Biblical Vision: “With firm purpose you maintain peace (O, Lord!); in peace, because of our trust in you.” Trust in the Lord forever!  (Isaiah 26)

2. Point 2: I’m continuing to discover and develop the virtue of Abandoning Aesthetics regarding human persons.

  1. We are all nurtured in aesthetics based on our family backgrounds and communities. We learn what our group deems appropriate for dress, personal hygiene, decorum, and proper pleasures.  This is natural.   As we grow and assert our individuality, we adopt, adapt or reject aspects of what we’ve learned and apply them to ourselves.  In addition, Education invites us to develop critical thinking regarding works of art, music and literature; Church and Society cultivate ethics regarding social norms and proper politics. The gift of critical thinking is essential to life and advancing public mores.
  2. Yet, we fail to engage in the Gospel, when we view another human being according to the criteria we deem best for ourselves or evaluate them as if they are a theatre piece or literary work. We can project our expectations upon them and fail to see who he or she really is. Jesus emphatically insists: “Stop Judging, and you will not be judged.  Stop condemning and you will not be condemned; Forgive and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6).  It’s letting go of aesthetics and critical evaluation of a person–even his or her actions –that help us see a fellow human being as God sees him or her.
  3. Judgment and Condemnation create chasms between people and prevent us from working together to solve problems, to undo the damage that is done. Instead of saying “How can you wear that? Say that?” or worse, “How dare you!”  “How could you!” I’m learning to keep silent and inwardly pray about my evaluations of another.  Only when someone’s actions warrant it, I find it’s better to ask, “What’s going on within you that brings you to speak or act in this way?” or “Please, help me understand your choices in this matter.  Might there be a more productive way to deal with this?  How may I help?”   (In truth, even compassionate statements such as these can rile another person, so this approach it’s not a guarantee for successful dialogue. In the realm of human relations, there is no perfect panacea.  Furthermore, our own emotions can get in the way of our best intentions, making what we think is a “kind response” received by another as anything but.  (God help us!)

3. Point 3: “Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your life-span? 26 If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest? “(Luke 12). To follow Jesus is to “Come Down to Earth.”

Our Christian faith is centered in God who enters human history through the Incarnate Word, in Jesus of Nazareth.  To follow Jesus, we must “come down to earth,” too.  Living in a “down to earth” way, we may more readily “live in the present moment” with much less anxiety. Here are life’s bare bone essentials to always keep in mind when in relationship with others but especially in times of conflict:

  1. Everyone needs air and water. (Deprive any one of these and the issues before us have no weight, no matter.)
  2. Everyone needs food, clothing and shelter. God created us as beings that must cooperate, collaborate to provide us with these bare necessities. No one can obtain all these essentials on his or her own. This basic concept assures us that we are all in this world together.
  3. Everyone needs LOVEFORGIVENESS –I understand this now as ONE WORD. Each dynamic is inseparable from the other. Mere Existence becomes LIFE in its fullness when this irrefutable, indivisible dynamic is nurtured and maintained.  Besides, no one can live without it. Now, LOVEFORGIVENESS doesn’t mean we can’t hold people accountable for their actions but it does mean that the accountability offers hope and opportunity to change while taking responsibility for his or her actions. We must assist ourselves and others always to claim and re-claim our true dignity as children of God.  (Another dimension of “Pick up your cross.”
  4. Everyone needs STORY to endow meaning to all the other fundamentals I’ve stated. Our FAITH provides the greatest and foundational stories, and in our diverse and heterogeneous world, we need to dialogue and discern the commonalities in all people’s stories –religious, national and personal—to create the solidarity in addressing the problems we face.  So many Religious Traditions affirm Unity, Harmony and Peace as God’s goal for the world. We all need to know our stories and keep learning from them.
  5. Everyone dies. Humble recognition of this truth may help us advance LIFE and LIFE-GIVING CHOICES for as long as we are on this earth because our earthly life is inextricably linked to our life and relationship with God and others for all eternity.  Detaching from our emotions or taking “time out” from an argument or discussion when emotions are strong can keep us alive and well until our time is up.

Keeping life “simple” is the best way to live, for, in truth God is the simplest, most uncomplicated essence of Being, of Personhood and Relationship there is—all generative, all creative, all overflowing love.

I would like to close with the song I sing at the opening of every parish mission I offer:  Leonard Bernstein’s SIMPLE SONG with lyrics by Stephen Schwartz.

You can hear me sing via this YouTube link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h9s0OY2Ues

(This was recorded several years ago.  I think I sang it better on Sunday!)

God bless you all for reading and sharing in my reflections.

 

 

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Keeping Thanksgiving Spirit-filled

Suggestions for a Prayerful Thanksgiving (Revised 2017)

by Paulist Father James DiLuzio

I          BEFORE THE DAY BEGINS:  

  • Set DVR to pre-record Thanksgiving Day parade(s) and Football Games; pre-record or purchase/rent CHARLIE BROWN THANKSIVING or other cartoons. These will be handy for intervals such as between main meal and desert or as stand-by for Alternate After-Meal Activities.
  • Book or Paper Copy of OVER THE RIVER & THROUGH THE WOODS by Lydia Maria Child * and other Autumn / Thanksgiving Poems such as The MIST & ALL (Keep aside until DESERT COURSE)  OVER THE RIVER and the poem’s history may be found at: http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Over_the_River_and_Through_the_Wood
  • Author’s Information: http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Lydia_Maria_Child
  • The Mist and All may be found at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dixie_Willson
  • Community Games to Have on Hand: Charades, Pictionary, Balderdash
  • Music via CD, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube (See item IX below)
  • A Card Table with Index Cards & pens/pencils, a Small Basket or Shoebox and One Sheet of Paper with these 2 “Treasured Gifts” Questions printed:

“What experience this year do I most treasure?”

“What gift have I received from last Birthday or Christmas to date that I still enjoy?”

 II   DURING ARRIVALS and /or Hors D’oeuvres: Invite everyone to print on an index card or post-it their response to this question: “What experience have I treasured most this year?”  and /or “What gift have I received from last Thanksgiving or Christmas to date that I still enjoy?” (Elder siblings or adults scribe for younger children).  No signatures on the papers!  Place these “Treasured Gifts” papers in a small basket and place the basket on or near the dining table. During the first course, guests will try to guess who wrote what.

 

III TRADITIONAL GRACE “PLUS”: Once everyone is seated, invite each person to say in ONE WORD, what they are feeling—with 2 qualifications: 1. NO EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY they feel this way (you’ll give them examples below) 2. NO ONE MAY COMMENT or on another person’s feelings. There are no “right or wrongs” feelings.  Therefore, comments like “How can you feel that on this day of all days?” are forbidden!  God loves us and understands all our feelings whatever they may be. It’s Important that you give example that include a full spectrum of feelings: “happy,” “sad,” “worried,” “thankful,” “frustrated,” “loving,” “frustrated,” “hungry,” “pleased,” “anxious,” “grieving,” “peaceful.”  ALSO:  GUESTS MUST BE FREE “TO PASS.” After each person states his or her feeling   Start Grace with these words (Read/ Pray SLOWLY): “Dear God, Here We Are–Our family and friends–and these are the feelings we bring to this Thanksgiving Day.  Helps us understand the beautiful way You accept each us as we are. Make us confident in your love so that we may be at peace and feel your presence among us.  Help us to make the most of this meal, this day, and our time together.”  Then invite everyone to join in the Traditional Grace before Meals, OR if your company is of mixed religions, substitute the Christian Grace with this: “Blessed are YOU, Source of Life, God known by so many names, help us to experience GRATITUDE, for gratefulness is the pathway to mutual affection and the road to peace. Bless our Meal and our Conversation. Amen.” 

III         FIRST COURSE ACTIVITY (Soup/Salad/Antipasto): Treasured Gifts: After everyone is served, pass the basket around with “Treasured Gift” papers. Each person takes a paper and reads it aloud. Guests try to guess who wrote it—i.e. match the statement with its author.  Once guessed, invite the person to share why he or she is thankful for this gift and/or event.

IV         DURING THE MAIN MEAL: Invite each Guest to share his or her memories of the best Thanksgiving OR ANY SPECIAL MEAL that they have ever experienced and why it is an important memory for him or her. (E.g. when they were 7 or 8; a night out with friends; an engagement dinner, baby announcement, etc.) TRY TO KEEP THE MEAL AS LEASURELY AND UN-RUSHED AS POSSILBE.  The previous activities should have helped. If time allows: Invite Guests to share a Bible Story, Book or Event that impressed them.

 V          AFTER THE MAIN MEAL:  Before anyone leaves the table for a Post-Meal Walk and/ or Pre-Cleanup Break (See VI) Invite the following Participatory Prayer: “Thanksgiving is a Day of Gratitude which is a Day of Prayer. Before we take a break, I invite us to share our prayers for one another and others:”

  1. “For whom and for what do we need to pray this year?” Give each person a chance to say his or her prayer. Remember the victims of recent violence and tragedies.
  2. Close with Psalm 121. (Link below), an Our Father and Glory Be.

VI         AFTER MEAL WALKS & PRE-DESSERT CLEAN UPS: Postpone desert and encourage guests to go for a walk outdoors if possible.  If weather does not permit, engage everyone in a Pre-Desert Clean UP tidying up the kitchen and the table prior to serving dessert. Football fans can catch up on the game.[1]  If there are not football fans and the kitchen is too crowded for everyone to help, access your DVR for the recorded PARADE(s) or Cartoons and/or arrange one of the Participation Gamesa as in section IX below.

VII        DURING DESERT: 

  1. Together recall the Thanksgiving Poem: Over the River and Through the Woods – Ask, “Who Knows the Author?” and “Who can remember the most verses?” Have a copy of the complete poem handy. After everyone has had a try reciting or singing a verse, pass around the copy (or copies for everyone) and ask each person to read a couplet or an entire verse depending on the number of guests. (There are 12 verses including 24 couplets) You can find the poem (and its author) at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Over_the_River_and_Through_the_Wood

  1. Afterwards, ask “Does anyone know another poem about Fall?” and have them share it. It’s probable that no one will have another poem.  In any case, conclude by reading this short poem: THE MIST & ALL by Dixie Wilson. Some people may remember it from school:  http://holyjoe.org/poetry/willson.htm
  2. Invite guests to share any favorite poems, rhymes, riddles or Autumn memories.

VIII       EVERYONE JOINS IN FOR CLEAN UP (OR, if space limitations in the kitchen, create Two Teams:  Those who remain at table or go for walks and/or into the living room; and those who help in the Kitchen.  Try to have each team mixed with all ages, both men/woman/boys/girls if possible.  Spend the clean-up /walking time memorizing OVER THE RIVER as Teams. Afterwards, gather together and see which Team remembers the most.  NOTE: The Purpose of the Game: Poetry opens us up to the spiritual and to appreciation of ritual: memory, context and associations.

 IX         After-Clean Up Options:

o   Community Games to Have on Hand:  Charades, Pictionary, Balderdash

o   Dancing: Access Music via CD, Spotify, Pandora, YouTube

  • Old Fashioned WALTZ; I recommend “O Mio Babbino Caro” sung by Kiri Tekanawa (CD: Kiri Te Kanawa Sings Verdi & Puccini Arias; for YouTube search “o mio babbino caro kiri te kanawa””
  • Celebrate Married Couples with “I Dreamed of You” by Barbra Streisand: (CD Barbra Streisand: A Love Like Ours; for YouTube: Search “I’ve dreamed of you Barbra Streisand””

X          Farewells As each person prepares to leave, ask if they would like a final Thanksgiving

Blessing.  If no, simply offer the usual hug or handshake.   If yes, the Hosts may place

their hands on each guest’s head or shoulders and pray the PRIESTLY BLESSING from the

Book of Numbers, Chapter 6: 24-26:

24 The Lord bless you and keep you!

25 The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!

26 The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace!

Conclude with “Safe home!  Godspeed!  God bless!”

OPTIONAL CHARITABLE COMPONENT TO THANKSGIVING DAY: INVTIE GUESTS TO BRING A SINGLE $ 1. BILL for each member of his or her family or party to participated in a PLEASE & THANK YOU GAME. Designate a charity and let them know what the dollars are for in advance OR have everyone vote on one of two or three choices before Grace (E.G, Catholic Charities for Puerto Rico Relief or Catholic Relief Services or Unicef.) Have some extra $1. bills around for those who forget.). The FIRST TIME anyone forgets to say Please” or “Thank You,” from the beginning of the Meal (after Grace) to end of dinner (i.e. “please pass the potatoes; thank you), he or she gets a WARNING.  The SECOND TIME he or she must surrender their dollar into a basket. Proceeds go to the previously announced charity. At the end of the day, people may contribute the Remaining Dollars or additional $ if they wish to the cause.

FOOTBALL FANS OPTION:  If your guest list comprises a majority of Football fans, CONSIDER planning your meal and activities around them. Here’s the Game Schedule:

  1. Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions                          12:30 PM Ford Field           Channel: FOX
  2. Los Angeles Chargers @ Dallas Cowboys             4:30 PM    AT&T Stadium  Channel: CBS
  3. New York Giants @ Washington Redskins             8:30 PM FedEx Field          Channel: NBC

 Begin gathering for your meal @ 2:30 (after or near the end of Game 1)

  1. Let the fans know you have DVR recorded Games 2 & 3 so during breaks between courses, people can review game and fast-forward commercials.
  2. Allow fans to opt-out of activities without judgment or rancor on your part We can invite, but we must not try to force intimacy or familial bonding.
  3. Here’s a game for the Football fans: Invite them to name Thanksgiving Day Teams and Winners from the past.  Who has the best football memory?   Here’s the list:

http://www.profootballhof.com/football-history/thanksgiving-day-game-results/

Over the River and Through the Woods by Lydia Maria Child *The original piece had six verses:

Over the river, and through the wood,

To Grandfather’s house we go;

the horse knows the way to carry the sleigh

through the white and drifted snow.

 

Over the river, and through the wood,

to Grandfather’s house away!

We would not stop for doll or top,

for ’tis Thanksgiving Day.

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

oh, how the wind does blow!

It stings the toes and bites the nose

as over the ground we go.

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

and straight through the barnyard gate,

We seem to go extremely slow,

it is so hard to wait!

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

When Grandmother sees us come,

She will say, “O, dear, the children are here,

bring pie for everyone.”

 

Over the river, and through the wood—

now Grandmother’s cap I spy!

Hurrah for the fun! Is the pudding done?

Hurrah for the pumpkin pie!

 

Suggestions prepared by Fr. James DiLuzio CSP                              November 2017

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