A READING FROM THE BOOK OF WISDOM
I too am a mortal, the same as all the rest,
and a descendant of the first one formed of earth.
And in my mother’s womb I was molded into flesh
2 in a ten-month period[b]—body and blood,
from the seed of a man, and the pleasure that accompanies marriage.
3 And I too, when born, inhaled the common air,
and fell upon the kindred earth;
wailing, I uttered that first sound common to all.
4 In swaddling clothes and with constant care I was nurtured.
5 For no king has any different origin or birth;
6 one is the entry into life for all,
and in one same way they leave it.
1 BUT the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God,
and no torment shall touch them.
2 They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead;
and their passing away was thought an affliction
3 and their going forth from us, utter destruction.
But they are in peace.
4 For if to others, indeed, they seem punished,
yet is their hope full of immortality;
5 Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed,
because God tried them
and found them worthy of himself. . . .
Those who trust in God shall understand truth,
and the faithful shall abide with him in love:
Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones,
and his care is with the elect.
THE WORD OF THE LORD. Thanks be to God!
GOSPEL: LUKE 10 38 As the disciples continued their journey, Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. 39 [n]She had a sister named Mary [who] sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. 40 Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” 41 The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. 42 [o]There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”
“Poor Martha” – that may be our first reaction to this Gospel but think again. Just as we heard from the Book of Wisdom, “although chastised a little,” people of faith become greatly blessed. Marth is Saint Martha after all. As her sister Mary shows us the contemplative way of life, Martha mirrors Jesus, the Carpenter –highlighting each person’s particular vocation, not also the importance of work. Martha and Mary’s respective examples, remind us that we need both action and contemplation to follow the Christ. After all, Jesus called Apostles and Disciples not only to pray with him, but to work with him, and through him, to build up a Kingdom of God- a better world grounded in the Two Great Commandments: Love of God and Love of Neighbor as Ourselves.
My father, James Mauro DiLuzio, lived his life as best he could, and like Saint Martha, he was an energetic worker who liked giving directions to keep his family in shape. A physically rugged fellow, dad lived mostly in high decibels, exhibiting his emotions freely: sadness, joy, anger, annoyance, frustration, fatigue, or sentiment–no one in our family ever had to guess what dad was feeling. Striving to live by that Golden Rule, like Saint Martha, dad grappled with degrees of exertion and fitful labor and attending to his conscious contact with God – or, in more secular terms, contemplating Truth, Justice, Mercy, Beauty, and Love. Mostly he left prayer life to my mom and to us children, but in the end, it matters little whether dad was conscious of it or not, for in essence, he honored God through the work of his hands, not for his own aggrandizement but for the good of his family and others. What is more, dad valued that ago old extra-biblical proverb: “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”
No surprise, then, that at the age of ten or so, “Jimmy” as his mom and dad called him, got a job gathering peas on a local New Jersey farm so he could buy his mother a new vacuum cleaner. After high school, “Jimmy” joined the US Navy combatting his chronic sea sickness by scrubbing down the hatches and storerooms and by keeping himself meticulously well-groomed –just look at those photos of his navy service. Dad served his fellow sailors in other ways, too. Most conspicuously, he modeled virtue. When his fellow sailors took leave of the ship to carouse and engage with women of ill repute, dad remained chaste and sober. His friends called him “the Virgin Mary.”
Leaving the navy, dad joined our local police force, advancing from patrolman to Juvenile Officer, Detective, to Chief of the Closter NJ Police force. Dad labored hard in his off-hours, too. Together with his dearest and closest friend, his and our own Uncle Leo–only a few years dad’s senior, dad mastered masonry — laying the foundations for people’s homes. And if that was not enough, dad and Leo started their own asphalt business, paving people’s driveways, and even took on extra side jobs erecting basketball courts.
Dad gloried in “hands-on work,” but his police work brought him the most satisfaction. It was not only upholding the law that he liked, helping people address their fears and failures and take responsibility for their actions. That is “Grace-in-Action” for sure! When dad died, I received this note from one of my high school friends, Debbie Weisman (now Slevin): “Oh Jim! Sad to hear this news. Your dad was such a powerful figure in my childhood. He came to the house during family trauma and made me and my brother feel safe. He was a wonderful, compassionate man and an important member of the Closter Police department. He was always kind and reassuring. May his memory be a blessing and may he rest in peace. He earned his place in heaven with my family alone.”
Above all this, dad devoted his life to our mother, Janet. She was his foundation. Everything he did, he did for Janet! Among his greatest joys was seeing Mom wear the latest fashions that he bought for her. Indeed, if he could have afforded to put her on the cover of Vogue, he would have. Long before Vidal Sassoon coined the phrase, dad’s devotion to Mom encompassed “If she looks good, I look good!” As for his own persona, Dad fancied himself tough, robust, strong, and stalwart –and he was. No wonder his favorite pastime was watching classing 1950s / 60s TV Westerns up to the day he died, and, of course, Yankee Baseball. But dad was not vain. Paramount to all others, he valued his role as provider.
How happy he was when he brought home the latest kitchen appliances, our first Color TV set, or announced he was ready to take us on vacation. All of us have fond memories of Niagara Falls, Lake George, Florida Everglades, and carnivals and adventure parks, too. In these and other ways, dad let us know that after Mom, the next great joys of his life were the days that I, Jeanne, Edward, and Muriel came into the world. And how proud he was that I eventually became a priest, Jeanne and Charles built their own Custom House Business (dad worked for them for almost ten years in his so-called “retirement,”), Edward became a policeman, and Muriel, so troubled throughout her life and who went to God all too soon, but who gave us her husband Donald and their son Vincent as part of our family.
Growing up, Dad provided us with all that we needed and more. Our best collective memories include the fresh Christmas Trees that he himself picked out and helped us decorate, and dad taking all the family for car rides through neighborhoods to view the outdoor Christmas light displays, while playing carols on the radio. And, of course, abundant presents from our wish lists on Christmas morning. Later, dad purchased each kid’s first automobile. And one more great memory: we treasured those rare Saturday or Sunday mornings when dad stayed home and baked waffles and served them with ice cream. Waffles and Ice Cream remained one of his lifelong favorite treats, and easily became one for us, too.
Back to Saint Martha: she reminded the Lord that people need to help one another in life’s daily chores. Unlike Martha, Dad never asked for himself, but he was adamant that his kids help Mom with the housework.
Thus, Saturday mornings in our home were bursting with energy as we kids and mom took our turns vacuuming, mopping floors, scouring bathrooms, washing clothes, and more. As we worked, we played records on another one of dad’s prideful purchases: a full-spectrum double-speaker Stereo console system, listening to Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, country singer Eddie Arnold (The Cattle Song especially), Frank Sinatra, Percy Faith, and Mantovani and their respective orchestras –all among dad and mom’s favorites. We heard these artists multiple times on 8 track tapes dad played in the car on our vacations, shopping trips, and various excursions. Sometimes dad would even join us in housework, although we dreaded his “final inspection” that came late in the afternoon when all the chores were finished. And of course, there were days when returning home in tiredness and frustration, dad would enter the house, greet no one, stretch out on a couch, twirl the hair on top of his head with his fingers and watch TV. No one would dare ask him to turn the channel.
As dad began to lessen his work schedule, his grandchildren and great-grandchildren proved the delight of his life. Just the mention of Justine, whom he called # 1, for being the first grandchild, brought a big smile to his face. But smile and laugh he did with each and all in their proper order and time in Mom and Dad’s Florida years: Sean, Veronica, Amanda, Dallas, Chelsea, Vincent, and Abigail. How he begged my siblings Jeanne and Edward to let their kids come to his house for a weekend! Veronica, Sean, and Amanda could raise a ruckus and get away with far more than we original offspring ever could because they gave him a deep source of contentment.
One favorite Dad and Dallas story: First thing in the morning, dad’s job for Rinek Construction was to bring 1st grade Dallas to school. Dallas stomped, cried, shouted, hollered – not willing to go. Dad often carried him into the truck. Eventually, dad despaired, announcing to Jeanne and Charles: “I will not have my grandson hating me all is life. I cannot bear it. You must get him to school some other way.”
In their later years, Vincent became the most frequent visitor to Mom and Dad. Dad’s insistence that “our home is your home” resulted in every kitchen cabinet and a well-stocked refrigerator containing all of Vincent’s favorite foods. But not only Vincent, for chocolates and candies waiting for Addison in a special drawer, and a refrigerator bin was filled with fresh fruit for Annabel. The younger great grandchildren may have lived farther away, but anticipating Lyla Jean, Daxton, Ronan, Nova, Ronan, Kylan, and Enzo’s visits, dad made sure each, in turn, would have what they wanted by dictating a long grocery list to Instacart before their arrival.
Last year when Mom was in a physical rehab residence–and dad had just got out of his-Edward’s kids Sean, Amanda, and Chelsea and their children came together from west Florida and North Carolina came for a fun-filled visit. Dad was so joyful when surrounded by the next generations of our family clan –so proud of all. And, the next morning, before each visiting family had to return to their homes, we all had waffles and ice cream for breakfast. More recently, Veronica’s Lyla Jean came to see Dad and Mom – also known as Pop Pop and Mimi – bringing cartons of Girl Scout cookies in a big red wagon as gifts for them and their fellow Assisted Living residents. Dad delighted following Lyla throughout the building as she distributed boxes of cookies to everyone. Dad never stopped talking about it.
I trust these memories will trigger further conversations in the days, months, and years to come. Of course, there will be sad ones, too, and regrets, for dad was not a perfect individual – no one is. But, through faith, hope, and love, we commend dad to heaven today, praying for his entry into the Communion of Saints, and a reunion with our sister Muriel, his parents, grandparents, Uncle Leo and so many more who have gone before us. In service to hearth and home, and the greater good, James Mauro DiLuzio lived his life for others in the best way he could. And we know Christ is present in all who do the same. May the angels lead him to paradise.
After Communion and the Closing Prayer:
I have a request for your indulgence. I never got to sing for my father, until well into his retirement, when dad came to appreciate this part of my life and ministry. For some reason he loved the lullaby featured in the movie WAITRESS. In the film, a young mother, a renowned pie maker, sang this song to her little daughter. The song evoked dad’s sentimental side. When each in turn, my parents had their hospital stays for various reasons, my mom would ask me to sing to her during her recovery. To my surprise, dad asked me to do the same in his time, and the lullaby from WAITRESS was his favorite. From then on, he repeatedly asked me to sing it at his funeral. So now, I would like to honor his request:
“Baby don’t you cry, ‘gonna make a pie,
‘gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle.
Baby, don’t be blue, ‘gonna bake for you,
‘gonna bake a pie with a heart in the middle.
‘Gonna be a pie from heaven above,
‘gonna be filled with strawberry love,
Baby, don’t you cry, ‘gonna bake a pie,
Hold you forever in the middle of my heart!”
frjamesdiluzio 