Tag Archives: Reconciliation

LOVING YOUR ENEMY – Vaishnava-Christian Dialogue April 2024 and the Dedication of a New Iskcon Temple Community Potomac, MD

Posted on by
Reply

(Note: this article will appear in my Ecumenical and Multi-Faith Relations Office TOGETHER IN HOPE Newsletter for WINTER 2024-2025)

Guests listen attentively to speakers while under a stunning white and gold Lotus ceiling with the Sun shining its blessings on the event from the windows above.

(L-R) Ananda Vrindavan Dasi and Director Anuttama Dasa accept recognition from Brooke E. Lierman, Comptroller of the State of Maryland.

As a participant in the Annual Vaishnava Christian Dialogue, I was blessed to attend the dedication of a new Hindu Temple and subsequent Dialogue LOVING YOUR ENEMY, convening on the weekend of April 12th through 14th 2024.  The article includes my notes on presentations by Professors Patrick Beldio (Catholic), a scholar of comparative religion and theology with a focus on Hindu-Christian studies, and Vaishnava – Madana-Gopala Dasa (Mehul Barot), a Hindu and Kenya native, who serves as the North American Co-Director of ISKCON Communications, focusing on Hindu and media relations.

Also See:

Dignitaries Join Metropolitan Washington DC’s New Krishna Temple Inauguration  

LOVING YOUR ENEMY – Hindu and Christian Perspectives

Our Dialogue began with two excellent, well-thought-out presentations by Hindu scholar Madana-gopala Dasa (Mehul Barot) and Catholic professor Patrick BelDio. Both asserted the centrality of love for all human beings and all of Creation. All love must be grounded in Love for God as each tradition dictates. Madan-goplas reasserted Vaishanava’s MONOTHEISM, insisting that the various gods, goddesses, and saints, incarnations, or manifestations of THE ONE. [1] In addition, it is important to note that Vaishnava is the dominant form of Hinduism throughout the world.

Patrick Beldio, a Catholic who interweaves his faith with comparable Hindu spirituality, presented Jesus’ statements in the Gospels, e.g.

“Love your Enemies, Do good to those who hurt you, Bless those who curse you, Pray for those who mistreat You”)[2]

He then offered an overview of Church History noting the contradictory behavior of the Church in the World.

Interestingly, while illuminating steps we can take toward loving our enemies, both men referenced the practical needs of self-defense and fighting against an adversary when necessary. With a brief summary of Church History, Professor Beldio asserted his preference for sustaining the “JUST WAR THEORY” — first articulated by Saints Augustine of Hippo (354-430) and later by Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274) among others. However, all of the writings Beldio cited emphasized war as a “last resort” –after conflicting parties exhausted all efforts toward peaceful settlements.

Professor Dasa noted the foundational Hindu text Bhagavad Gita which, while emphasizing LOVE ABOVE ALL THINGS, allowed for warfare when the oppressor was inordinate in causing suffering. In fact, the spiritual epic “Gita” for short, opens with the assembling of armies! But a subsequent dialogue ensues between Patha (Arjuna), son of Pandu, and Lord Krishna, provides context:

                          Arjuna said:

                        “How shall I

                                    In battle against

                                    Bhishma and Drona,

                                    O Madhusudana,

                        Fight back with arrows

                                    against those who

                                    are worthy of respect,

                        O Slayer of the Enemy? “  

             After a long discourse comprising several chapters, “The Beloved Lord” said:

                        “For protection of the virtuous

                                    And for the destruction of evil acts,

                        For the purpose of establishing dharma,

                                    I become fully manifest age after age.” [3]

The Dialogue participants included 15 Christians comprising Roman Catholics, Presbyterian, Non-denominational, and unaffiliated Christians and 11 Vaishnava , including many who practice Bakhti Yoga. Our conversations morphed into a discussions on the concept of Justice, Fairness, and heavenly realities that alone can bring about a perfect reconciliation among peoples. Each tradition made use of the term “GRACE” and/or its equivalents, emphasizing our mutual belief that no good whatsoever comes about without help from God.

Debate ensued as to whether there could be any “just war,” as per recent written letters, reflections, and homilies from Popes John Paul II to Francis. Roman Catholic participants affirmed that our tradition is advancing the consensus that, with all the advanced weaponry and war machinery sequestered in international governments’ arsenals, there can be no “just war.” The devastations that ensue, even at the smallest levels, bring pain and suffering beyond humanity’s ability to heal in the present context or in the future.

Madana-gopala Dasa summarized Vaishnava’s perspective:

  • Mercy and compassion are Hindu hallmarks that empower the love of enemies. With the help of Krishna, the devout Hindu strives to be ever-loving, even amid conflicts. Nevertheless, one must confront evil and wrongdoing and be ready to act against it–even if violence ensues.
  • Referencing both ARJUNA in the Bhagavad Gita and Jesus in the Gospels, Dasa reiterated “Love does not exclude violence in some contexts.” He cited this quote from the Bhagavad-Gita 2: 29-39; 36b, “The embodied, eternally indestructible, dwells within the body of everyone, O Bharata. Therefore, you should not grieve for any living being. . .Therefore, rise up, O Kaunteya, acting with firm resolve for battle. Acting the same in happiness and suffering, gain and loss, victory, and defeat, Then prepare for battle—thus you shall not suffer misfortune.” (Graham M. Schweig translation. See footnotes.)
  • In support of his position, Dasa quoted Jesus in Matthew 10 vs. 34, interpreting it as an acceptance of sin and conflict even in a Christian context: “34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’[c]

Patrick BelDio summarized his emphasis on Christian perspectives.

  • Violence is the tragic consequence of sin, which is inevitable in this world. We can only conquer our violent tendencies with God’s grace which, tragically, many reject. Furthermore, situations require self-defense, and even aggression may be justified to stop a greater evil. He also cited. Matthew’s Gospel 10: 34 -36. Jesus: A Cause of Division, while clarifying that the passage does not justify violence (including emotional violence, particularly within families) but recognizes its reality in our fallen state of sin. . 34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword. 35 For I have come to set a man ‘against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36and one’s enemies will be those of his household.’ (New American Bible, Revised Edition translation)

The ensuing dialogue acknowledged disagreements in the interpretations of texts cited, at the same time, affirmed a consensus:

  1. It is necessary that people of faith continually discern our own culpability in contributing to seeds of hatred and acknowledge our inward motivations toward violence. Faith requires a personal confession that our attempts at objectivity are forever flawed as all are enmeshed in any given problem and its context. Thorough evaluation of the causes of enmity must be embraced with honesty and humility –both virtues -and all the other virtues — are essential to bring the perpetuation of violence to an end.
  2. Surrender to Grace is paramount and is the foundation of all virtues.
  3. The role of Lament regarding the thoughts and feelings in our hearts and our own actions that have harmed others must be experienced as the first step toward “loving one’s enemies.”  Self-scrutiny –seeing other persons, other nations, and their policies within the realm of our own personal, national, and international failings – is required to begin the process of seeing others as fallible human beings as ourselves, and thus capable of “being loved.”  All paths to forgiveness, accountability, and reconciliation must be rooted in our common humanity.
  4. “Restore. Repair. Recompense. Reparations” is a good mantra to embrace once people have resorted to violence. It evidences appropriate accountability.
  5. From Pope Saint John Paul II: “There is no peace without justice, no justice without forgiveness.” [4]

[1] Vaishnavism – Wikipedia   See also this summary from Microsoft Copilot: “Vaishnavism is one of the major traditions within Hinduism, devoted to the worship of Vishnu and his avatars, particularly Krishna and Rama.

In the context of monotheism, Vaishnavism can be seen as both monotheistic and monistic. Here is how:

  1. Monotheism: Vaishnavites believe in a single, supreme God, Vishnu, who manifests in various forms and avatars. This belief aligns with the concept of monotheism, where there is one ultimate divine being.
  2. Monism: While Vaishnavism recognizes the diversity of deities and their manifestations, it ultimately views them as different aspects of the one supreme reality. This aligns with monistic philosophies that see all diversity as ultimately rooted in a single, unified existence.”

[2] The Gospel of Luke 6 vs 27.

[3] Taken from BHAGAVAD GITA – The Beloved Lord’s Secret Love Song, translated by Graham M. Schweig, © 2007, Harper Collins, New York NY. pp 36, and 71, Chapters 2 and 4, respectively.

[4] XXXV World Day For Peace 2002, No peace without justice, no justice without forgiveness | John Paul II

How to Handle Angry Feelings / A Process of Love-Forgiveness

Posted on by
Reply

Steps to Take When I Feel Angry –How to Apply Charity Toward Our Self and Others (including Tools for Addressing Angry or Difficult People)

  1. Instantaneous, interior prayer required! PRAY: “Lord, help me with my anger. Help me understand what is going on in my heart. I often want to fight anger with anger, but I know from my own experience that doing so is unproductive and doesn’t help solve the problem. Help me move from anger to sorrow over the sins of the world.”
  2. Am I afraid?
    1. Am I in physical danger? “Help me to be wise and extricate myself from this person or situation immediately.”
    2. Is my fear based on my insecurities? “Help me to be sure of your love and forgiveness and not let another person’s judgments distract me from your love.”2. Am I afraid to admit my wrongdoing? “Give me courage to be humble and truthful and ask, ‘What may I do to undo the damage that has been done?’” B, Am I being accused of something unjustly? “Help me to be patient and find the right time and manner to explain the situation more fully.
  3. Is my current adversary putting me down, judging or ridiculing me? “Let me not give this person power over me and play on my insecurities. Instead make me confident in your Love for Me and trust that his or her anger is more about their fears and insecurities. Remind me that fear and anger most often occur when we forget or negate your love/ forgiveness for us–including our fear of change.”
  4. Am I being taken advantage of? “Help me to claim my right to not answer my antagonist’s questions and not to make any agreements until I have more time to examine the situation.” Say, “I feel uncomfortable with what you are asking. Let me get back to you.”
  5. Is it pride that makes me angry? “Help me to see that my life is not about me but always about You. Instill in me the truth that You intend the salvation of the world—a plan that involves me to live according to your will, not mine.”
  6. State what you OBSERVE about the other person’s state –NOT WHAT THEY SAY OR DO.
    1. “I see that you are very angry and upset. This matter is very important to you. Help me understand what you are going through.”
    2. Next state what’s going on within you. Examples:
      1. “When you act this way, I am frightened. Are you aware that you are frightening me? May we address this issue in some other way? Or Take “Time Out?”
      2. “Your actions have harmed me and/or another person. It is wrong to express our thoughts and feelings in this way. I must ask you to leave the room and consider the harm you have done until you calm down. If you will not excuse yourself, I must ask you to leave our home.”
      3. “Your strong emotions bring up feelings of my own angers that are tied to thoughts that perhaps you don’t understand me or know me the ways that I thought you did. Or maybe it is I who don’t fully know or understand you. How may we understand one another better without rancor?”
  7. Introduce New Levels of Logic: “What do you think is really going on here? Are yours or someone else’s feelings be ignored or dismissed as unimportant?”  “Sometimes we think LOVE means that we must do what the other person wants us to do. Isn’t there a better logic than this?”   “Will praying together help us now – or do we need more discussion first?”
  8. When Communication Breaks Down: “We are having a communication problem. Please know that my statement is not a judgment on you. It’s a problem to be solved.” What logic do you use to maintain that saying this becomes an accusation against you?   Do you not believe that every human being needs to work on improving his or her communication skills without thinking that they are a loser or something worse? There’s a wonderful saying. ” Perfection is the enemy of the good.” Only God is perfect. Let’s acknowledge our imperfections and work on addressing your feelings and mine with patience and charity.”
  9. Keep in mind this response: “There’s a certain way of thinking–a kind of logic that you hold on to–that causes you great pain and anxiety. It also brings heartache to all who Love you. May we take a “step back” and explore other ways of looking at this situation? If we are to ever have the peace we need and want, we must seek different ways of thinking, so we can love ourselves. We all need to love ourselves because we are Children of God. Life is about learning to accept Love as it is offered, not as we think it is supposed to be offered. Therefore, HOPE is a matter of lowered expectations as far as people are concerned. We must change our way of thinking if we ever want to be happy. I can’t do that for you. But I know this: As you learn to be kinder to yourself, you’ll find yourself more patient and kinder toward me and to others. Meanwhile, I’m going for a walk because I have great difficulty with the ways you express anger. (“And I don’t want to treat you the way I experience you treating me.”)
  10. Here’s another one: “I understand that you are very angry. And, of course, this is an important issue. If I have done something wrong, I am willing to take responsibility for it. But, remember, Jesus says “Stop condemning! Stop Judging!” because condemning and judging prevent us from solving our problems. So, ask yourself “Do I want help extracting myself from the blaming game, or not?” There are more productive ways to deal with our hurts and fears and angers. Shall we explore these together or do you need to do this on your own? I want to respect your needs. Take as much time as you need. At some point, I trust we will be able to work together to solve this problem.”
  11. Self-Care:
  • Don’t try to teach someone a lesson unless he or she has enrolled in the course!
  • When someone says he or she is not ready to discuss the issue, believe them! Postponing a needed discussion is NOT a personal insult or injury.
  • Be ever-ready to say, “Let’s talk about this later.” But be sure to set the time aside sooner-than-later.

REMEMBER: THESE ARE TOOLS –NOT GUARANTEES inspired by Jesus is teaching “Love your enemies” and “Turn the other cheek.” We now interpret these instructions to mean that we are not to let others take our God-given self-worth and dignity from us. Standing firm in God’s constant love/forgiveness for us, we remind our adversaries of our common humanity. Jesus does not want us to accept their abuse. Luke 6: 27 ff If you just need to VENT –Pray Psalm 109

Love-Forgiveness

By Father James DiLuzio C.S.P.   http://www.LukeLive.com

We either Live in Love-Forgiveness (ONE WORD) or we do not. We must cultivate Love-Forgiveness in our hearts and invite loved ones to do the same. What’s needed for love-forgiveness to reign? Here’s the short list of what to do when we are hurt, angry, betrayed

  • In the heat of the moment, learn to say things like “I am deeply hurt and/or angry by what was said or what is happening (or ‘just happened.’) We need to take “time out” to think this through.”
  • Vent, Rage and Cry to the Only Fully Objective Loved One — GOD; Jesus Himself prayed psalms of lament and disappointment. If you need to share your feelings with another person, try to pick a trusted relative or friend who is not likely to get involved emotionally, come to your defense or take sides against the other.
  • Insist relatives and friends respect the integrity of each personal relationship. Allow only the individuals involved to work through the conflict. Others must avoid all temptation to pass judgment, condemn or enter the fray unless physical  o r deep emotional abuse occurred, or the incident involves a minor in need of protection.
  • Secure that God loves you in your anger, your hurt, your betrayal –that God’s love for you is the foundation of your life—pray that you are moved to PITY the one who hurt you. See in him or her a fellow human being who has fallen from grace, given into temptation of selfishness, greed, violence, fear or weakness.
  • Take TIME OUT, allow yourself time to let grace take hold of you and move you from hurt, and/ or rage to pity and, finally, to tenderness.”
  • Pray Pity be transformed to TENDERNESS as you would offer tenderness to a disobedient child; everyone has a right to live, to learn, to improve, to encounter God through Love-Forgiveness – In this world of ours, it is one of the primary ways to encounter God.
  • Allow for Time to Pass, i.e., GOD’s Time, not “our time,” for you and the other person to come to a place of reviewing the situation and his or her actions calmly and honestly. Here we must trust in Jesus’ and the Psalms’ constant reminder that God allows the sun to shine on the just and unjust, good and the wicked precisely to allow people to choose to evaluate the harm they’ve done to themselves and others. Say, “I was very hurt / angry by what was said and done. I need to understand what you were feeling and where you were coming from. That will help me a lot. Then, if you are willing, I would like to share my feelings and concerns.”
  • With patience, discern forms of accountability you may eventually offer your assailant or adversary—just as a priest offers penance to sinners in the confessional. As penance offers actions and prayers to help the penitent to both show remorse AND accept accountability for his or actions in praise of God, so, too, must we be “priests to one another,” offer opportunities for change – as you would with a child.” Ask “How can I help and support you to undo the damage that’s been done?”
  • If the offender agrees to amend the situation and, if warranted, get treatment for his or her behavior, don’t try to reconcile the relationship right away. If asked, let the other person know that you continue to work on reconciliation but are not ready to remove restrictions on your relationship. Meanwhile, assure them you will pray for their working through their problem and taking responsibility for their actions. More patience is needed for the elderly and infirm than for younger, healthier people.
  • If the offender is not willing to address the issue (e.g. “this is who I am; I’m not changing; my way or none at all”) your health and safety may require the relationship to move to a respectable distance, or, if irreconcilable issues, severed. Forgive in your heart, so you are FREE from reliving the hurt, the pain; free to move onward toward a wiser, humbler, more hopeful future.

Paulist Press Resources: Healing Life’s Hurts by Dennis Linn and Matthew Linn

Don’t Forgive Too Soon by Dennis and Sheila Linn and Matthew Linn

Good Goats – Healing Our Image of God by Dennis and Sheila Linn and

Matthew Linn http://www.paulistpress.com/

The HOMILY I Did Not Preach Sunday, August 26, 2018

Posted on by
Reply

by Fr. James DiLuzio C.S.P.

Having prepared the text that appears several pages hence, I arrived at Saint Barnabas to find that a Propagation of the Faith Missionary was preaching at all the Masses. So instead, I offered a condensed version of what I had prepared to the congregation after we prayed the Closing Prayer.  This is what I said:

“Not having the opportunity to preach you to you today, I feel obliged to say that after all we have heard and seen in the news these past two weeks, I wish –and I’m sure I speak for your parish priests here –we all wish to say we care about your feelings and what you must be thinking in response  to Pennsylvania report. The scandal of child and teen abuse is something we’ve been living with for years now, but the Pennsylvania report gives numbers of cases and egregious accounts that accentuates the severity of the Church’s sins.  The Gospel today asks if we wish to return to a former way of life, and many of us wish we could.  We must remember Christ is with us through all things and that faith will get us through this scandal if we let it. Prayer is needed but so is action on our part to hold our leadership to greater accountability. I invite you to consider some of the following:

  1. Shall we urge our bishops in all Catholic diocese worldwide to release the secret papers listing the guilty priests and negligent bishops before more states require them to do so? Public confession and identification of the criminals in the Church is something we owe to victims because seeing names in print acknowledges the reality of their suffering which is an essential component of the healing process for most if not all. It should have been done long ago.  Tragically, our leaders abandoned us and abandoned Jesus, making Church as institution their God. We are a people called to serve, not to secrecy.
  2. The Church’s mission is not just to take care of our own but to serve the world. To accomplish both, its time our hierarchy open its doors to include lay professionals, especially women, from all sectors of society from psychology to medical, law enforcement, educational and spiritual leaders to address the full  scope of all that has happened in ways our bishops failed to do.  Furthermore, consider writing our bishops to initiate this kind of cooperative process so that ultimately universal standards of justice could be set for all victims regardless of their abilities or lack thereof to obtain legal counsel and to ultimately begin a process that could result in International standards for protection of children and teens, reparation for all victims of abuse and accepted standards for just penalties for perpetrators in churches, schools, scouts, sports, medical institutions in whatever context they are found.  Initiating and engaging this complex enterprise could mark a much-needed public penance on behalf of our leadership.

Time does not permit me offering more suggestions or details, but If anyone wishes to talk more about the PA report or anything related to what going, I offer to spend time with you after mass so please do not hesitate to approach me.   May God bless us to take prayerful action to transform our Church to a greater honesty and integrity reminding the hierarchy and ourselves that  we are the people who witness to the power of admission of sins as an essential way to encountering God.

 

Dear Readers: I was humbled by the assembly’s applause after my speech, and many thanked me afterwards although no one chose to speak with me at length.  For the time being, perhaps that is all that needs to be said.  However, if you want to delve further, what follows is the text  I would have preached at the liturgy of the Word:

 

The Gospel today states: “Many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?” Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

 

Jesus’ question applies to all the faithful in today’s world:  “Do we also want to leave?” Amidst the Pennsylvania report regarding the egregious numbers of priests abusing minors since 1940’s (along with some of the most abhorrent details), many of us are asking ourselves this very question.  Therefore, we must not eschew the topic at mass today, for this is our public sacrament addressing all the public and personal aspects of our life with Christ and one another. Indeed, today this same topic is being extended to Pope Francis’ mission to Ireland this week and the context of abuse there.  No, we cannot be put the topic aside today.

 

To begin, we must remember that Jesus is present to us even in our sins, even as we repeatedly encounter institutional shame. Christ within the body of the faithful must be our recourse in these awful times when evidence of our leaders’ failures  once again comes to light.  How many people, including priests, are experiencing despair today, thinking of abandoning the Church, discarding our faith,  feeling God has abandoned us? Such feelings are natural and inevitable in these times,  but faith compels us to accept a truth greater than what we feel: God never abandons us. Therefore, this ongoing public tragedy must become yet another occasion for us to deepen our relationship with Christ whose Truth alone will set us free.  Together we must petition the Holy Spirit for the courage to change the things we can to hold our leaders and our institutions accountable, to insist they lead us as they were meant to lead us: with honesty, with bold confession of their sins which alone allows for just amends to be made and merciful recompense to those they have harmed.  This is what our leaders have asked of us, we now continue to insist that they do the same. The faithful had to do this throughout the early church controversies, before and after the Reformation, the Inquisition and we must do it again. Let us reflect on how Jesus can help us address today’s  public scandal:

 

Admitting our wrongs has always been a hallmark of our faith.  Repentance is our path to Jesus NOW as it was in Biblical times beginning with the preaching of the prophets that culminated in John the Baptist:  Repent! In the early centuries of Christianity, often sinners were required to go public for serious crimes. The local communities compelled penitents to wear sackcloth and ashes at the entrance of churches until their penance and reparations were fulfilled. This concept is rooted in Jewish tradition, the grandfather of our faith. Remember the story of Jonah and the sinful City of Nineveh?  The whole metropolis put on sackcloth and ashes.  Knowing this our Church should have implemented public admittance of its guilt as the only fitting justice–long before the Pennsylvania government released its report.  Only public confession expresses genuine contrition from an institution, reflecting the sinners’ willingness to let God purify and transform it.  Furthermore,  it should have been evident by now that victims need to have their suffering acknowledged if they are to heal well.   Naming convicted perpetrators is also important because, as I have heard, many remain in reprehensible denial of the harm they caused. Their sin and their thinking need to be exposed and condemned.

 

As for our bishops who covered up and reassigned criminal priests, the fact that for decades they paid more attention to lawyers than victims adds yet another layer to our 20th and 21st century shame. The Church should be above that,  judging by today’s Gospel, our leaders abandoned Jesus and made Church-as-institution their God, neglecting a central Christian tenet that to confess our sins is the first step toward reconciliation with God and others. If poverty would be the result, well, as Jesus has said, “Blessed are the poor.”

 

In light of these insights, I propose we ask all Catholic diocese, world-wide, to  release the names of perpetrators and bishops who mishandled the situation so that all victims’ abuses can be formally acknowledge.  Then, at last, our Church would regain its integrity, demonstrating true contrition before all peoples–before state and federal government compels us to do so.   Only then can what the bishops have offered victims and their families— life-long professional counseling and financial recompense be placed in its proper context.  Hindsight also makes evident that faithful Church members would have handled bishops’ open confession of criminal priests without shame if announced at the onset.  Immediate public announcements would have prompted simultaneous change in canon law, priest policies and seminary formation at a much earlier point in this terrible saga and so much violence against innocents could have been prevented. Now, of course, the Church has instituted significant changes in policy and in education of priest and lay ministers that highlight child and teen protection and safety and alert the faithful to signs of dangers. Nevertheless,  the current issue remains:  how must the Church take responsibility for the sins of its past, especially its recent past?  How can the Catholic Church regain its credibility in our witness to Christ in this world?   Perhaps this sacramental Church of ours needs a ritual that acknowledges its institutional sins, that humbly and prayerfully embraces an institutional penance.  What would be the equivalent of sackcloth and ashes for guilty priests and bishops today? Here’s one possibility:

 

  • Guilty bishops could resign; guilty priests laicized in public rituals before being handed over to civil authorities. No one is above the law when laws are just, and victims cry out in pain.

 

Here’s something else we could do right here, right now:  insist that our Church hierarchy engage ecumenical, multi-faith, government officials and lay persons, victims and families to draft universal standards of recompense to victims that are compassionately fair and, at the same time,  clearly define just punishment for surviving perpetrators in both ecclesiastical and civil terms. Local and national  commission could be formed to include professional lay men and women in psychology and all behavioral sciences in addition to experts in education, spirituality, law enforcement, legal experts and other related fields.  The times call for  a heterogenous, diverse assembly of people to be convened  because Councils of Bishops need an interdisciplinary wisdom of men and women beyond its male hierarchy if they are to address the full scope of all that has happened to the people of God.  These convocations could produce a formal International agreement specifying just consequences for all forms of child and teen abuse that could be promulgated just as Human Rights are defined and promulgated and these consequences would be applied  to all domains where sexual abuse and all forms of violence against children, teens and adults occur – in homes, schools, youth clubs, sports, business and medical institutions, etc.  as well as churches with no exceptions. For when the same truths are articulated in all institutions and sectors of society, the prospects for acting upon and realizing TRUTH and Justice become more fully realized.  And remember, the Church is here to serve the world, not just itself.

 

Once Church and State agree on fair and just recompense to victims, and just punishment for perpetrators, statute of limitations on victims seeking justice could be lifted in all sectors of Church and Society—comprehensive with no exemptions. Because of the well-documented  trauma victims experience throughout their lives, it is time Church and State set things right in all situations, in all places for all people.

 

As God helps Church and Society recover, may our Church abandon its sinful pride, its propensity to defend itself and cling more closely to Jesus “who alone brings LIFE” –Life in its dimensions in and beyond this troubled world. Christians everywhere would do well to commit to the age-old Jesus Prayer on a daily basis:  “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, Have Mercy on Us for We are Sinners”  and, now more than ever, we must add, “strengthen us to put true repentance, TRUE FAITH into action.”

 

FYI:  HERE are the Biblical Texts for Today’s Mass:

“Whom Shall We Serve?”

Readings for the Twenty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time

Reading 1 Jos 24:1-2a, 15-17, 18b

Joshua gathered together all the tribes of Israel at Shechem,
summoning their elders, their leaders,
their judges, and their officers.
When they stood in ranks before God,
Joshua addressed all the people:
“If it does not please you to serve the LORD,
decide today whom you will serve,
the gods your fathers served beyond the River
or the gods of the Amorites in whose country you are now dwelling.
As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

But the people answered,
“Far be it from us to forsake the LORD
for the service of other gods.
For it was the LORD, our God,
who brought us and our fathers up out of the land of Egypt,
out of a state of slavery.
He performed those great miracles before our very eyes
and protected us along our entire journey
and among the peoples through whom we passed.
Therefore we also will serve the LORD, for he is our God.”

 

Responsorial Psalm Ps 34:2-3, 16-17, 18-19, 20-21

  1. (9a) Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.
    I will bless the LORD at all times;
    his praise shall be ever in my mouth.
    Let my soul glory in the LORD;
    the lowly will hear me and be glad.
    R. Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.
    The LORD has eyes for the just,
    and ears for their cry.
    The LORD confronts the evildoers,
    to destroy remembrance of them from the earth.
    R. Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.
    When the just cry out, the LORD hears them,
    and from all their distress he rescues them.
    The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
    and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.
    R. Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.
    Many are the troubles of the just one,
    but out of them all the LORD delivers him;
    he watches over all his bones;
    not one of them shall be broken.
    R. Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.

Reading 2  5:2a, 25-32

Brothers and sisters:
Live in love, as Christ loved us.
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ loved the church
and handed himself over for her to sanctify her,
cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
that he might present to himself the church in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish.
So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one hates his own flesh
but rather nourishes and cherishes it,
even as Christ does the church,
because we are members of his body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
This is a great mystery,
but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.

 

Alleluia Jn 6:63c, 68c

  1. Alleluia, alleluia.
    Your words, Lord, are Spirit and life;
    you have the words of everlasting life.
    R. Alleluia, alleluia.

 

Gospel Jn 6:60-69

Many of Jesus’ disciples who were listening said,
“This saying is hard; who can accept it?”
Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this,
he said to them, “Does this shock you?
What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending
to where he was before?
It is the spirit that gives life,
while the flesh is of no avail.
The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life.
But there are some of you who do not believe.”
Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.
And he said,
“For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father.”

As a result of this,
many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.
Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?”
Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go?
You have the words of eternal life.
We have come to believe
and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”

 

 

 

Back to Basics: Repent and Forgive! (Again!)

Posted on by
1

Third Sunday in Ordinary Time 

January 21, 2018

 Reading 1 Jon 3:1-5, 10

Responsorial Psalm Ps 25:4-5, 6-7, 8-9

Reading 11 1 Cor 7:29-31

Gospel Mk 1:14-20

God called Jonah to go to the despised country of Nineveh. Reluctantly, Jonah goes and gives them all the opportunity to repent and receive God’s forgiveness. They respond. They say, “YES.”

 Repentance and Forgiveness ground our Biblical Faith from our foundations in Judaism to the heavenly heights of Christianity. The Church repeats the message relentlessly and so today, it insists we equate God’s call to Jonah with Jesus’ Call to the Disciples.

Yes, Repentance and Forgiveness ARE the Cornerstones of Christianity because it is Jesus, the Cornerstone, who insists on repentance and forgiveness from everyone, to everyone.

 Sorry, friends, gut it’s time for another refresher.  We cannot refute the centrality of Reconciliation:

a.    John the Baptist heralded these as the only daily workouts that prepare us to recognize and receive Jesus

b.    Jesus endorsed them as he healed individuals, reconciling them from the world of sin into the kingdom of forgiveness

c.     Our Baptisms order us away from a sinful, judgmental, condemning world into world of forgiveness

d.    Jesus on the Cross insists forgiveness is the crux of His Mission and very heart of God.

 God knows it’s difficult! 

e.    Jonah wholeheartedly resents God for giving the Ninevites a second chance

f.      The brother of the Prodigal Son is irate his brother is welcomed back into the family

g.     Peter questions, HOW OFTEN? Jesus responds, “As often as it takes, Peter, as often as it takes.” As if to say, “Frankly, Peter, I’ve called you, your brothers and your sisters to love people to death.”

 Oh, but it is a terrible sacrifice to repent and to forgive. Christian History has not often exemplified these virtues, but THE CALL REMAINS, just as it always has, and always will. Today, the Church insists THE CALL IS NOW:

 Remember the Grand Gesture of Pope John Paul II at Millennium: On behalf of the entire Roman Catholic Church he repented for the Crusades and all other acts of violence the Church committed against the Jewish people, Orthodox Christians, Muslims and everyone else through the ages. He Revealed to the world publicly, equivocally that the Church must always have REPENTANT HEART.  Of course, not all individuals or groups received the Pope’s request well or offered to participate in reconciliation with us, but, still, seeds were planted. Humility’s power to inspire may not take immediate root, but it does linger long.

 Today’s Call to Discipleship asks us to Renew and Reclaim this Central Christian Objective. We must go to our brothers and sisters, friends, neighbors, business associates—anyone we have offended, hurt, betrayed and offer not only words of sorrow but determined efforts to heal the hurt, repair the loss as much as humanly possible.  Courage, friends!  We will be empowered by this Eucharist and by our renewal of Faith in the Holy Spirit this very day.

 Don’t despair!  Yes, we know that of course, there is no guarantee that those we have offended will welcome us or our message. But whether they do or not, the Holy Spirit will increase grace in us and leaves us with gratitude for who we are and who we are becoming–deepening our friendship with Jesus, our brother.  And isn’t that why we are here today?  To allow humility to take hold of us, grace will grow, and we may be thankful that we’ve done our part knowing that God forgives us whether others ever will.   

 Now, we must address the other, perhaps more difficult aspects of reconciliation.  What do we do when family or friends hurt or betray us, show no remorse, make no attempts to repent or seek reconciliation.  What then? (I’ve shared this with you all before but evidently the CHURCH in these readings insist that we review them today!)

a.    Before we share our hurt and anger with another, first and foremost bring our anger and hurt to God. We need to turn to quick, spontaneous inner prayer asking God to turn our anger to pity and ultimately to compassion for human weakness, so we can forgive those who’ve hurt us in our hearts before we even address the situation.  Should we find ourselves in the midst of an accelerating argument simply say, “I’m too angry with too many intense feelings to be able to address this right now.”  Take as much “Time Out,” as we need before compassion consumes us enough to address the wrongdoing. We need to pray in the same way whenever relatives/friends/neighbors do not hurt us directly but hurt others that we love or act in way we were taught that refute the 10 Commandments? E.g. Bigotry.

b.    Try our best show concern for the other without judgment, i.e., by saying things like, “What are you feeling right now that moves you to speak this way?” That shows LOVE and CONCERN for the person and prevents us from falling into judgment or a feeling of false superiority.  Then say how we feel, e.g., “I feel disappointment that you’ve chosen to say or act this way.” This exemplifies the task of working through our feelings first before we try to discuss the subject or the sin.” Once feelings are expressed and understood, we might then be ready to ask, “Are not the Ten Commandments important to both of us? How may we apply them to this situation?”

c.     Ask: “Do you at all feel pressured to act in this way –pressured by society, another person; do you think this is your only choice?” (Remember we often sin out of weakness rather than full consent of our wills.)

d.    Ask: “Would you like to explore with me other choices that may be of greater benefit to you and others?”

e.    Ask, “Can you accept the possibility that your words and actions are hurtful to you and others?”

f.      Explore what kind of restitution is appropriate.  We may ask, “How might I support you in taking responsibility for your words and actions?” In more complex situations, never be ashamed to bring this family, neighbor or work situation to a facilitator, counselor, doctor or priest.

 If the person is unwilling to continue the conversation, or take responsibility, make amends for his or her actions, YOU, as disciple, have witnessed the WAY. You have planted a seed.  Ultimately, then, we must decide:

a.    We may need to reorient the relationship to something less personal, less frequent, albeit without rancor, hurt or ongoing disappointment.

 We must always remember that Forgiveness, like LOVE, is an act of the WILL!  No one FEELS like forgiving, but the task of those who have been called is to conform our Will to God’s will. Remember God gave us FREE WILL and the consequences of our actions will all play themselves out in time.  Trust in God. God’s timing, too. It’s not our job to teach all people all lessons. But we can teach ourselves to have peace within our hearts even in the midst of a sinful world.

 My dear friends, being a Christian is HARD WORK.  As we come to the Eucharist today, I invite you to pray these two short prayers with me so that the Gifts of the Holy Spirit will be strengthened in us this day:

 “Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us, sinners.”

  “Oh, God, who instructs the hearts of the faithful by the Light of the Holy Spirit, grant us that, by the same Spirit, we may judge wisely the things of earth and rejoice in the Spirit’s Consolation!”

 

Here’s a reprint of my Tools for Love-Forgiveness (Now as ONE-WORD)

 Love-Forgiveness

We participate in Love-Forgiveness (I preach this now as ONE WORD) or we do not.  Both are inextricably linked –we can’t have one without the other.  We must cultivate Love-Forgiveness in our hearts and invite loved ones to do the same.

What’s needed for love-forgiveness to reign? Here’s the short list of what to do when we are hurt, angry, betrayed:

  1. Vent, Rage and Cry to the Only Fully Objective Loved One — GOD; Jesus Himself prayed psalms of lament and disappointment.

 

  1. Secure that God loves you in your anger, your hurt, your betrayal –that God’s love for you is the foundation of your life—pray that you are moved to PITY the one who hurt you. See in him or her a fellow human being who has fallen from grace, given into temptation of selfishness, greed, violence, fear or weakness.

 

  1. Take TIME OUT, allow yourself time to let grace take hold of you and move you from hurt, and/ or rage to pity and, finally, to tenderness

 

  1. Pray Pity be transformed to TENDERNESS as you would offer tenderness to a disobedient child; everyone has a right to live, to learn, to improve, to encounter God through Love-Forgiveness – In this world of ours, it is one of the primary ways to encounter God.

 

  1. With patience, discern forms of accountability you may eventually offer your assailant or adversary—just as a priest offers penance to sinners in the confessional. As penance offers actions and prayers to help the penitent to both show remorse AND accept accountability for his or actions in praise of God, so, too, must we be “priests to one another,” offer opportunities for change – as you would with a child.

 

  1. Allow for Time to Pass, i.e., GOD’s Time, not “our time,”, for a person to come to a place of reviewing the situation and his or her actions calmly and honestly. Here we must trust in Jesus’ and the Psalms’ constant reminder that God allows the sun to shine on the just and unjust, good and the wicked precisely to allow people to choose to evaluate the harm they’ve done to themselves and others.

 

  1. Even if your health and safety require the relationship to be severed, distant, or irreconcilable– Forgive in your heart, so you are FREE from reliving the hurt, the pain; free to move onward toward a wiser, humbler, more hopeful future.

 

  1. If the offender amends the situation and gets treatment for his or her behavior, if warranted, don’t try to reconcile the relationship right away. If asked, let the other person know that you continue to work on reconciliation but are not ready to remove restrictions on your relationship. Meanwhile, assure them you will pray for their working through their problem and taking responsibility for their actions.

Paulist Press Resources:

Healing Life’s Hurts by Dennis Linn and Matthew Linn

Don’t Forgive Too Soon by Dennis and Sheila Linn and Matthew Linn

Good Goats – Healing Our Image of God by Dennis and Sheila Linn and Matthew Linn

These and other titles are available at http://www.paulistpress.com/